“In the Penalty Box” segment is a new project we are working on. Skaters will be doing one-on-one interviews with their league mates at random a few times a month.

Interviewed by Paula G. Imnaughty.

Paula G. Imnaughty: When you’re not being the almighty awesome Pearl Jammer, what is your alter ego doing?
Pearl Jammer: By day, I work at a boarding kennel (think hotel for your furry friends) where I not only get to spend time caring for amazing animals, but also get to play with power tools and yard machines. LOOK OUT!

PGI: You’ve recently returned to the track and the Stepford Sabotage from an injury. How did it feel returning? What was running through your head on your first jam?
PJ: Frankly, it felt like I never left, mostly because I didn’t. I went to almost every practice from the time I had surgery to the time I was cleared to strap 8 wheels back on my feet. (My bit of advice to fellow skaters out there who are sidelined with an injury: go to practice and watch as often as you can. You will learn a TON just by watching because you don’t have to worry about actually doing. When you return to action, you will be AMAZED at how much of what you saw you can quickly implement.) The noticeable difference when I returned was how the game was being played before and how it was being played when I came back. The packs moved differently and that took some getting used to. What was running through my head, you ask? The same thing that runs through my head every time I step up to that line: “Don’t think, just go.”

PGI: Speaking of which, as a fellow Jammer (and your number one fan), what advice would you give girls looking to wear the star?
PJ: 1. Breathe! (funny how we forget the little, but important things.)
2. Aim for your teammates.
3. Don’t go to the outside! It looks so inviting at times, but don’t do it!
4. Cross train, cross train, cross train. Seriously, jamming is all about stop, start, & changing direction. Cross training (strength training, agility training, and balance training) will help you to do these things better.
5. Don’t get inside your own head. Beating yourself up mentally only makes it more difficult to get through the people who are physically beating you up.

PGI: If you were to have one, what would be your theme song?
PJ: Definitely “Safety Dance” by Men Without Hats. BEST SONG EVER. (I also enjoy doing the dance.)

PGI: How do you get yourself pumped up and/or psyched for a bout?
PJ: I really just like playing roller derby, so I’m always just excited to play any chance I get. However, that excitement quickly turns to business once warm-ups start. Then I get focused.

PGI: You’ve got some pet goats, or should I say, “kids”. Explain this.
PJ: I do, I do! Currently there are 8 goats who lovingly call me “Mah!” The first two (Buster & Buddy) were actually brought home by my brother for Mamma Jammer, but being the animal enthusiast that I am, I quickly took the reins on caring for the little guys. Soon thereafter Arson and I brought home Baby Blue (definitely daddy’s girl). Then we acquired Mocha (she’s our sensitive girl). Early in 2010, Sprocket was brought home to us (he’s my handsome little man). Then came home Turbo (he’s our little football).
Most recently, we brought home Colt & Daisy, half siblings reunited by a weird twist of fate. Together we’re one big happy family.

Goats are fantastic animals, by the way. They all have their own distinct and WONDERFUL personalities. They’re loving and affectionate, quirky, smart, and downright entertaining.

PGI: What did you want to be when you were a little Pearl?
PJ: I always wanted to be a vet as a tiny Pearl. No surprise there, I’m sure.

PGI: What are some of your favorite moments being a Rollergirl and/or part of CTRG?
PJ: I think some of my favorite moments are when the crowd gets amped up at games. I tend to feed off of that. (So keep doing it, ok?!) One of the weirdest moments for me was the first time I realized I had fans that weren’t people I already knew. It’s a strange, yet enjoyable feeling.

PGI: What are some of your favorite places to visit?
PJ: Hmmmm...tough one. I think my favorite place to just go to relax is outside with my furry friends. It’s very peaceful just watching them do what they do.

PGI: You’re on a desert island. You can have a total of five things. What are they?
PJ: A pilot, a plane, and my passport; get me back to my normal life as quickly as possible!

PGI: How did you get mixed up with CTRG? Take us back to that day.
PJ: Arson’s sister (Dead End Allie) skated in the very first CTRG expo back in November 2006. He told me about the sport, I had recently been informed I was no longer eligible to play college lacrosse (the NCAA has rules about age-LAME!) and I decided derby would be my new athletic outlet. I ordered my first pair of skates before I even bothered to see what the game was all about. I took a chance and it turned out pretty alright!

PGI: Quick! You were just asked to guest star on Nitro Circus. What wacky/insane stunt would you pull to impress the gang?
PJ: Oh how I love Nitro Circus… First of all, they’d all get a good chuckle at my tiny little dirt bike. (Yes, I have a dirt bike and I love it. It’s also how I ruptured my ACL last year. Tough love, I say.) My stunt? Hmmm…I’ve got no clue. (I’m pretty much a wimp, really.)

PGI: I’m an actor and there’s this little game we actors play when we want to get to know about person. It’s called the Pivot Questionnaire, and I’m making you play it, and then I’ll leave you alone: What is your favorite word?
PJ: Chocolate!

PGI: What is your least favorite word?
PJ: Not a word, but a phrase. “I can’t.”

PGI: What is your favorite curse word?
PJ: I pretty much chuckle every time that magical “c word” is used. (ed. note: crabapple)

PGI: What sound or noise do you love?
PJ: The sound of my goats, whether is their cute little “mah,” the sound of their hooves or them chewing something crunchy. It’s all ADORABLE.

PGI: What sound or noise do you hate?
PJ: Babies crying. Not because it breaks my heart; it’s because it’s annoying.

PGI: What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
PJ: I’d really love to coach on a professional level.

PGI: What profession would you not like to ever do?
PJ: Anything with children. Forget it. No thanks.

PGI: If a Heaven exists, what would you like to hear them say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
PJ: Wow. I think I’d just want to know that those I love and may have left behind are doing ok. Breaks my heart to think of being without them...